Not Too Sure Why This Is Headline News

People.com:

Lindsay Lohan has some explaining to do.

Her court-ordered alcohol-monitoring bracelet, called a SCRAM device, was trigged Sunday evening during an MTV Music Awards afterparty, according to a source close to the case.

It remains unclear whether alcohol was detected in her system or if the device was tampered with. Either one would alert authorities.

Lohan, 23, could face jail time if the judge in her case rules that the actress violated the conditions of her bail – which include abstaining from alcohol and submitting to random drug testing. Judge Marsha Revel is expected to receive the SCRAM report soon, the source says, and could order Lohan in for an immediate bail revocation hearing.

Is any one surprised here? I mean, first she gets that DUI (twice), then she gets caught with cocaine, followed by breaking her probation. Now this. I mean, we're just going from bad to worse here. I'm not too sure why people would think a little bracelet would stop Lohan from being the party girl that she is. What is it Lindsay, that THIRD time in rehab just didn't do it for you? Figure your shit out, girlfriend.

Khloe Kardashian Nixes Baby Rumors: "I'm Just Fat"

Us Weekley:

Khloe Kardashian Odom is putting those pregnancy rumors to rest.

Asked at the Lakers/Celtics game Thursday if she's expecting, she told Entertainment Tonight: "No, I'm just fat."

Earlier this week, RadarOnline reported that the E! reality star, 25, is two months pregnant with husband Lamar Odom's baby.

Honesty is the best policy, right? Props to you, Khloe. Not many women in Hollywood could openly admit that! I like it. Besides, with sisters like Kourtney and Kim, it must be tough! You go girl!

Uh Oh, There Goes Miley Cyrus

Us Weekley:


During a performance on Britain's Got Talent Thursday, the 17-year-old mimicked Spears and Madonna's famous on-stage smooch by pretending to kiss a female dancer.

She didn't actually touch the dancer's lips, according to Britain's Daily Mail, she just thrust her lips towards her.

That wasn't the only eyebrow-raising moment during Cyrus' performance of her new single "Can't Be Tamed."

Didn't we call this like, 5 years ago? Miley Cyrus turned Hannah Montana turned lesbian kissing, skanky dressing, drug/alcohol abusing teen? Here comes the next Brittany Spears and Lindsay Lohan. Too bad.

America Is Getting More & More Lazy...

Yahoo News:

Four peaceful protesters, some dressed in full-length black and yellow bee costumes, represented the American Literacy Council and the London-based Spelling Society and stood outside the Grand Hyatt on Thursday, where the Scripps National Spelling Bee is being held. Their message was short: Simplify the way we spell words.

Roberta Mahoney, 81, a former Fairfax County, Va. elementary school principal, said the current language obstructs 40 percent of the population from learning how to read, write and spell.

"Our alphabet has 425-plus ways of putting words together in illogical ways," Mahoney said.

The protesting cohort distributed pins to willing passers-by with their logo, "Enuf is enuf. Enough is too much."

According to literature distributed by the group, it makes more sense for "fruit" to be spelled as "froot," "slow" should be "slo," and "heifer" — a word spelled correctly during the first oral round of the bee Thursday by Texas competitor Ramesh Ghanta — should be "hefer."

So, let me get this straight. These people want us to change the way we spell "fruit" or "slow" just because it "makes sense"? What about all of the other millions upon billions of people that DO know how to spell "fruit" and "slow"? Sure, let's dumb down society so that we can make the English language easier for others to understand. This just goes to show just how lazy Americans are. They don't want to put the time and effort into learning how to correctly spell these words, so they want to protest the change, so it's "easier". Well, tough news, life isn't easy. Deal with it.

Sounds Like A Pretty Good Catch, Jon...

Lookin' good, Gosselin.

UsWeekley:

Sounds like great stepmother material.

Jon Gosselin's girlfriend of one month Ellen Ross "hates kids," a source tells Us Weekly. "But she wants to be famous."

When Ross, 23, was snapped palling around with Gosselin's eight children on a playground May 22, another insider adds it was simply a photo op. "She knew it would get her attention."

Hey, at least she can admit it right? Rather than pretend that shes a kid lover and "ooo" and "aah" over Jon's beer belly, she might as well just get it out there. Great catch, Jon. Should've just stayed with the monster you once called your wife if you wanted the media attention. This just goes to show why reality TV stars need to get LOST at sea once their minute in the spotlight is up.

It Will Never End!!!

UsWeekley:

Heidi and Spencer Pratt fabricated their split in a desperate attempt to stay famous as The Hills wraps up, the new issue of Us Weekly reports.

While Heidi's rep confirms the breakup to Us ("Heidi... hopes people respect her privacy"), sources say any estrangement is about as real as Heidi's size-F breasts.

Adds another insider of the couple, who wed in April 2009, "Heidi and Spencer are laughing over it and having a blast."

A desperare attempt to stay famous? Well, good job Speidi. You did it. Still making headlines.

Oh No! Heidi & Spencer "Taking Time Apart"

People.com:

Heidi Montag and her husband, Spencer Pratt, have weathered many storms together – but now it's time to spend time apart, says Montag.

"I needed some alone time," Montag, 23, tells PEOPLE exclusively, confirming reports that she has moved out of the Pacific Palisades, Calif., home she shared with Pratt. "There are so many lies out there about me and I just needed space – even away from my husband."

Let me get this straight. Heidi and Spencer need “time apart”… oh, ok Speidi… Now you need time apart? After 10 plastic surgeries in one day, publicly humiliating themselves (dozens of times) on television, losing all of your family and friends because you're just downright weird? NOW you feel it’s a good time to separate? Well Heidi, kudos. You have finally opened those eyes (which must have been hard, seeing as she can barely crack a smile after all those botox injections).

I don’t know about you, but I am oh-so-very sick and tired of The Pratt’s BS drama-filled lives. Wouldn’t you think that after this horror show of a “music video” you would retreat to some tropical getaway so that people would forget what a nightmare of a “celebrity” you were? I just don’t understand it. Call me old fashioned but I just do not care what happens to Speidi. Get married, fight over the busty blonde bartender, break up… I’m over it. Someone needs to pull a Dexter Morgan on their asses. RIP Speidi, you contributed nothing to my mundane 9-5.